The biker phenomena

It’s a condition that is plaguing middle America.  It specifically attacks middle-aged, suburban men.  However, it has been known to infect bored housewives as well.  This outbreak prompts its victims to waste away their child’s tuition fund in-exchange for leather chaps, American flag bandanas, and a thirty-thousand dollar Hog.

This epidemic I am referring to is the Great Midwestern Biker Plague of the 21^st century.

What exactly caused this emergence of seemingly quaint suburbanites who surprisingly embraced a rugged, nomadic subculture on the weekends?  Perhaps it was a cathartic release from the banality of their square lives.  One can only take so many trips to the Home Depot in order to maintain their 15 or 30 note on the weekends.  I guess it’s inevitable that we eventually rebel after years of simplistic monotony.  What else is there do when there is an empty nest?  Crank up the Bachman Turner Overdrive and involuntarily catch bugs in their mouths?  Sounds like fun (sarcasm for all you literal readers).  But what compelled middle-aged couples to be receptive to such a fad given its history?  Don’t they realize this whole bad ass, biker trend originated back in the post-World War II days where veterans longed for a sense of adventure and freedom over the very lifestyle the couples of this current generation have been the past quarter of the century?  I guess I need to remind them about the Hell’s Angels: the infamous biker gang where its members resembled a ZZ Top tribute band and committed heinous acts.

I think the whole suburbia-on-bikes movement heralds the freedom-appreciation ethos the biker culture evokes.  I can see why it certainly resonates with a bored father.  It compels him to forget about winterizing the lawn and instead cruise down the main drag to compensate for the years of their gradually declining masculinity.  The identity crisis stems from their realization that they were practically dorks the past couple decades and want to recapture their glory days by acquiring another monthly payment.

Watch out, kids.  Your newly divorced dad is trading in his Dockers khakis and Ralph Lauren polo for a leather vest and skull caps.  Authentic trends of yesteryear seem to reappear incredibly diluted.  First bikers then punk rock.  Originality ceases to exist.